The History of All Histories ...

I believe that Stupid was acquired after my sister got in the collision in the 1966. She was getting ready to head off to the military, so Stupid was my mom's car to drive. Although learning how to drive in PJ, I took my driver's test in Stupid. I will never forget my first time driving solo, heading out to where my mom worked. Call me weird, but it was an odd feeling driving without an adult in the car with me.

Stupid got his name because he was a Super Beetle. Not just any Super Beetle, but the first year. Although labeled a 1972, this little butthole was built in the latter half of 1971. The problem was that Volkswagen go it wrong. They took the lightest car on the road, that people were already using weights to add more heft to the trunk, and installed McPherson struts. I think VW got it wrong with they put McPherson Struts in the front of a car that weighed about as much as I did when I was born. 

I loved to hate this car. The alignment was always off, the wheel always vibrated, and the front tires wore like my hairline when I turned 25. Despite my complaints, I sure loved that car. I was in high school when the stereo revolution kicked off. At one point, I had a 15, 2-12s, and about 2000 watts running in it. I had the ugliest car on the block, but could outperform the coolest looking car next to me (stereo-wise of course).

Stupid led me through a failed college career, a short stint as a security guard, and numerous trips to Los Angeles to visit the second love of my life. Speaking of my short stint as a security guard, I already mentioned that Stupid was ugly. So, one night, I decided it would be appropriate to use 14 cans of white Krylon to repaint him. Man, he looked awesome ... until sunrise. Looks like the stupid one was me. I didn't even stop to think that painting him under a mercury-vapor light in the middle of the night would attract ever gnat in the Central Valley. By morning, I had all sorts of bugs that paid the ultimate sacrifice stuck to my car.

A short time later, while living in some apartments, I woke up one morning to see fluorescent dinosaurs and handprints all over my car. My girlfriend walked outside and just about blew a gasket. I, on the other hand, started cracking up. Although my sister lived across country, the first person I thought of was her. As it turns out, I was right. She had flown in for a visit and, under cover of darkness, provided some much-needed character to Stupid.

Sometime around 1997, I acquired a 1965 Beetle. It ran, but needed a rebuild. I did not have the money, at the time, so I worked out a deal with Phil (mechanic) and traded Stupid for a freshly rebuilt engine to power the 1965 Beetle.